The Ugly
Archives from Diary
Date : 25th April 2014
I always gaze at these wheat fields while travelling back
from work everyday. This is the time of the day when I am at peace with my
inner self. It is an insightful time that I like to spend with myself. I long for this time and this isolation has
earned me some bad reputation amongst my colleagues as well. But there are
some new collaborations that I have created. I have been seing these wheat
fields since past six months now and
have built an unattached association with them. The vast fields and beautiful sunsets have
become a part of my routine now. When I first saw them it was November, they
were all lush green, alive, completely full of life, full of colors. The
exuberant green had some kind of euphoria which could bring you in a temporary
divine state. It just soothed and pleased my eyes every time I glanced at them.
Its a picture that shows us how prosperous and beautiful life is. Full of
colors, lively and content just like these fields.
Then came March, the green fields started turning up golden.
One day returning from work I realized that everything was turned golden. Where
has the color green disappeared? I asked myself. Did I wake up from a
dream? Sometimes the transitions are slow but yet they seem abrupt. Now the
field had worn a new attire, the golden attire. Green was superseded by Golden,
so were the thoughts. Changes are always hard to accept and golden also didn’t seem
to be welcoming but it altogether brought a different mood of life. A more
harsh yet very bright, more sharp but yet very mature. The color could just instantly
catch your attention give you a sense of
reality. It was not a color that would soothe you but a color that stood up
straight and self reliant, in those vast fields elucidating its own identity,
giving a message of its sheer presence. A catchy presence which could not be
ignored. The same green fields which had abundance of life now could also be
dry and rough.
It is April now, the to time to harvest the crops. Those
green turned golden fields have started disappearing. The fields look now ugly
and crushed. The fields have gone bald showing the earthly scalp which is not a
good sight to see. In this course of six months I had formed a connection with
these wheat fields. And this face of these fields is not engaging and I do not
identify them. But I wonder how is it possible that the same fields could be all three. Green, Golden and
Ugly. How could something so beautiful turn so terrible. But that is how
the nature cycle works. Their disappearance is disturbing yet it shouts out a
strong meaning. I think we people are synonymous to these wheat fields. We are
green, golden and ugly. Sometimes beautiful and sometime unpleasant. It is like two sides of a coin, we can see only one side but yet the existence of the other side cannot be denied. There is ugliness inside
all of us and all the things in the world. Though we do not identify with it but it touches our lives time to time.
There is an ugly face.